10 Ways to Live as a Daughter of God- A Man’s Perspective

What does it mean to be made as women in the image of God? How does this reflect on friendships and relationships? Recently one of my missionary friends asked my teammate and I to talk at a women’s night in order to speak into this from a male perspective, and this is what I shared with them!

10 Ways of living as a Daughter of God

1. God literally died for you. You are a daughter of God and you get your worth from His love for you. You are princess peach and Jesus is Mario, and he’s jumping on mushrooms and flinging turtle shells and defeating Bowser at least EIGHT times before he can save you. And he did it all anyways.

So with that in mind, remember that you’re always loved. Even when things aren’t going well in your day to day, you’ve always got a friend in Jesus.

A daughter of God doesn’t get her worth from what other people, especially men, think of her. She gets her worth from God’s love, and that never changes. So no matter what others think of you don’t let that bring you down. Our ultimate fulfillment could never be in this world, anyways.

2. Women inspire men. Heck yes, Mario wasn’t going to stop at anything until he got to rescue Peach. In the same way, men will pursue you, and you have the opportunity to challenge him in that. Early on when I was coming to Christ, when there was a girl that I liked, and she was spending time in the chapel praying or going to mass and bible study, I wanted to be doing those things too. Somewhat selfish reasons, but hey, it worked, I’m a missionary now! My girlfriend Ryann continues to inspire me to greater holiness in her own personal devotion to God, and even though I’m a missionary and sometimes we’re tempted to think that all missionaries are perfect, I really need extra encouragement sometimes. In addition, your beauty also inspires others, since your beauty is a reflection of the beauty of God. There’s nothing on earth more beautiful than a woman, so cherish that fact! Just in who you are, you reveal to all the world, men and women alike, how good and beautiful God’s creation is.

3. Women are beautiful, and that is great. But your worth goes above and beyond your beauty. Your worth is that you are made in the image and likeness of God. A lot of times men abuse this truth in only talking about your physical beauty, and our culture for sure does this in general, judging women so much more carefully on how they look than they do men. But remember that in being a daughter of God, just because you don’t always look fantastic doesn’t mean that you’re worth anything less. There’s no need to be jealous of other girl’s good looks, you are all loved just as much by God. St. Peter has some great advice about this: “Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4). The point of this verse is that the beauty that matters the most is your internal beauty, the beauty of your heart. Physical beauty takes a back seat to that.

4. Women have a unique way of witnessing to the tenderness and mercy of God in a way that men never can. I try to be gentle and supportive of people who are in tough situations, but often times I just don’t know what to do or don’t know how to help. On the other hand I often see my teammates Kristin or Kerry jump right forward and they know just the right ways to comfort someone. I think that’s a gift that God has given women, and it’s a gift to treasure. I’m always looking for a “fix” to the problem, while what the person really needs is just someone to be there for them. Another unique feature of femininity is how you are more open to receiving love. Sometimes faith is harder for men because we aren’t as wired to receive God’s love as you are, but you can witness to that for us. See as a guy, when I’m talking about loving someone, I want to do things for them, help them with their work, making sacrifices, giving them gifts, etc. The other part of love is simply being with people through struggles and receiving the affection from someone you love. This is huge in relating to God and to each other in general, and men definitely need to learn from women on this.

5. Don’t lower your standards just to be with a guy. Some girls dress pretty immodestly just to attract the attention of guys. Let’s not deny the facts, though. It works. But what type of guy is an immodest girl attracting? She’s got BOYS all over her. BOYS with no self control and no maturity and class. BOYS who just want her for her body and nothing else. If you want a MAN, you have to dress like a WOMAN. A MAN is attracted to a woman respects herself, who dresses with dignity and class, who isn’t afraid to be herself. A MAN tries to get to know the whole person of the woman that he is interested in, instead of trying to use her for her body. A MAN respects women’s purity and dignity and always treats her with respect. On top of that all, a great way to scare off the BOYS is to dress like a WOMAN. They’ll be able to tell right away that you respect yourself and won’t play any games, so they’ll move on to bother some other girl.

6. A daughter of God should never have to “give in” to a guy physically to secure his affection. Our modern culture has fallen into the error of often reducing women from human beings into “objects of pleasure”, a collection of body parts. You can obviously see this in pornography or strip clubs, but it’s beginning to infiltrate mainstream culture in movies like 50 shades of grey and in most popular music videos. Men see the same things as you and unfortunately it can warp our minds into thinking of women as merely a collection of body parts instead of human beings with dignity. You are not merely a collection of body parts, you are a whole person: body, mind, and soul. A man needs to pay attention to and respect ALL of you.

7. In dating, you need to set boundaries for “how far” you can go. Communicate this clearly, during the day. You need to set the boundaries right away otherwise it’s just too tempting to stop in the heat of the passion. This is especially difficult for guys, we’re aroused so much easier. So with this in mind, remember to honor the lines that you’ve set together, because if you start bending the lines, it’s so much harder to stop. Even though Ryann and I are both devoted Catholics, we made sure to talk clearly about physical boundaries right away and continue to. Usually it’s the guy who kind of leads the relationship in this sense, so as the woman, it’s important for you to make how you feel about this clear to him, otherwise he might assume something else.

8. Being in the image of God, you have a right to be treated like a lady. A guy who is interested in you or dating you should be holding doors for you, paying for stuff on dates, holding their umbrella for you, offering an arm when going up steps, offering you their seat, pulling the chair out for you, etc. Sometimes in our modern culture these things are politicized, and women feel like they are being disrespected when a guy offers to do something gentlemanly. But from my experience, behaving like a gentleman is not at all about disrespecting women but actually for making little sacrifices for a woman to show her your respect. It’s small things like this that go a long way in a relationship, and it’s great practice for marriage, where life together is one small act of sacrifice after another. As women, the best way to respond when a man treats you well like this is to accept his generosity gracefully and thank him. There’s no need to make a big deal about it, but there’s also something nice about having your girl let you know that what you did is appreciated by saying thanks. And honestly, it’s a huge turn off to me if a girl doesn’t let me pay for dinner or something on a date. I guess it makes a girl seem insecure or something? There’s definitely a place for splitting the bill sometimes or helping out with other things, but if it’s a date, and he asked you, then he better pay the bill.

9. Remember that in all things, we will only be satisfied by God. Sometimes it seems like everything is falling down when friendships or a relationship is crumbling, but God alone fulfills our deepest desires. The best thing that you can do to ground yourself for the rest of your life, no matter what your vocation will be, is to have a deep relationship with God. God is our rock, our foundation. With that foundation, he will help transform you into the woman that you’re meant to be, so that you can be the best for everyone in your life. Break ups and falling outs happen, so make sure that you’re always keeping God first and then everyone else.

10. Let the man do the pursuing. It’s in our nature to want to pursue women, and it is a way of showing our dedication. I actually know a pretty good scientific reason why this is: men take forever to make a decision that women can make in seconds. One way that this trait is especially useful is in asking out someone on a date. For a guy, it can take a long time to decide whether or not to ask a girl out. For a girl, you can probably make a pretty good decision right away without needing any extra time to weigh your options. In addition, men pursuing allows women to be treated like they deserve to be as ladies, and weeds out the players from the men who are actually dedicated. Don’t be afraid to play a little hard to get to see if he truly wants to be dedicated to you. Do you really want a boy who you have to baby all the time or do you want a man who will stay with you through thick and thin?

Shout outs to Jason Evert, Mike, Ryann, and Lilly for helping me with some ideas for this!

Update: I wrote a post similar like this for men! Check out 10 Ways of Living as a Son of God.

Friendship and Flirting

The following is a guest post by Vincent Kania, seminarian for the Diocese of Joliet.

When we have begun to embrace a life of purity and chastity, I have found that we are able to better understand love, and so develop deeper and more meaningful friendships with others of both sexes. As we come closer to others, we can run into problems concerning how we should interact with the opposite sex so that we can further live out purity and chastity in an emotional sense. As we strive for this, I believe our objective should be to develop meaningful friendships in which we can lead each other to Christ.

Although we must make sure to respect others and be concerned for their thoughts and feelings, I don’t think this goal can be achieved through scrupulosity or gloominess. An honest and well-intentioned friendliness and joy will go much further for developing healthy and fulfilling friendships and relationships than being excessively reserved. God made us to interact with each other and to find enjoyment in these friendships and relationships, so we should embrace God’s gifts and thank Him for his generosity. But we do need to have an awareness of ourself and others so that we can live with integrity as we pursue friendships and relationships. Here’s a couple of practical considerations to keep in mind:

  1. Show great respect for the opposite sex at all times. Make sure to keep physical boundaries in place and never say anything or act in such a way that might demean someone of the opposite sex. We are made up of body and soul, so what we do with our bodies will affect our hearts and the hearts and emotions of those around us. If we make an effort to show respect in this way, your friends will notice and will return that respect to you in the form of trust and confidence.
  2. Understand yourself, especially your intentions. Know thyself. We often flirt in order to get attention and so find fulfillment or boost our own self-esteem. If this is the case, then we are lying to the other and are not living in integrity. We may also end up playing with other’s emotions and sending signals that we do not intend. But if your intentions are not to mislead anyone nor boost your own self-esteem, others will see your honesty and genuineness and you won’t have to worry as you enjoy time with your friends.
  3. Understand your friends and those around you. This is essentially my blanket statement to say that there is no hard and fast rules for this kind of thing, you need to use your judgement and your knowledge of the friendships you have. Know how others will understand and react to your words and actions and then respond appropriately. They also may have intentions different than your own or may be tempted to flirt in an unhealthy way. Understand also that, in a group, paying particular attention to one person to the exclusion of others can come off as flirting and lead others to jealousy. Now you can not control others and this jealousy may come up regardless, but it is something to keep in mind. Prudence is a must for these situations, and if you are unsure about something you were going to say or do, odds are it’s better to hold back.

Our objective was to develop friendships in which we can lead one another to Christ. Union with Christ is our goal and must always be our goal. And we must understand that only in union with Him can we realize our true selves. Pope John Paul II calls it an “interior independence” in which we find our strength, dignity, maturity, and confidence by the side of Christ. We must seek to understand the truth about ourselves, about our fallen nature and our need for love, and respond to this truth by seeking a relationship with Christ alone. When we come close to Him we can be set free from “love as necessity, restriction, mere occasion, or eroticism” and come to know that Love which will fulfill our deepest selves.[1] Once we have found Christ and always seek Him as our ultimate fulfillment, then we can open ourselves to real friendships with one another, free from jealousy, fear, and despondency. Our former Holy Father concludes:

“So the only thing I can tell you is that you should draw closer and closer to Christ, and not just superficially as a passing frame of mind, but with your whole heart, your whole being and your whole life. Seek Him and draw closer to Him….“In the path of love which life entails, always remember that above every love there is one Love. One Love. Love without constraint or hesitation. It is the love with which Christ loves each one of you.” [2]


[1] Pope John Paul II, The Way to Christ, Harper & Row, Publishers, Inc, 1984, page 33-40.
[2] Ibid.