10 Ways of Living as a Son of God

Mass on Ramapo Mountain

  1. God literally died for you. You are a son of God and you get your worth from His love for you. God willed your existence out of love. You are not just a product of chance. God willed YOUR existence, He created you exactly as you are, and He loves you as you are. He sees you as His son, and wants to see you prosper and live with the fullness of life that He wants for you. Jesus said, “I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly” in John 10:10. That’s pretty cool, huh?! And I haven’t even hit on the part about Jesus dying for us. He thought that we were worth dying for even though we had already messed up. So remember that even when things aren’t going well, Jesus believes in you and wants to give you another chance.
  1. Men are called to serve and protect. In the story of Adam and Eve, after Adam is created, “God then took the man and settled him in the garden of Eden, to cultivate and care for it” (Genesis 2:15). God gave Adam and all men this duty, to “cultivate and care” for all of the Earth. This includes all of the plants and animals, but most importantly all of humanity. The Hebrew translation of “cultivate and care” is the word “Shamar,” which means to protect and keep.  So God wasn’t just giving us a job of being gardeners, but being protectors of all of God’s creation.  Our job is to honor God in all that we do and to selflessly serve and protect all others in our care, our wives, our families, our communities, those in need, and to even care for nature too, as  Pope Francis has put out so beautifully in his latest encyclical, Laudato Si.  A man is called to sacrifice of himself for others. Our ultimate model of manhood is Jesus Himself, and He gave us a very clear message that we need to put ourselves last in serving others. Sometimes this is in very heroic ways, like soldiers, police officers, and firemen. But we can also give of ourselves for others in everyday matters, like going out of our way to help a friend or someone in need, letting people go before us in lines, and making time to spend with your family instead doing what you want.
  1. Your masculinity doesn’t depend on what you look like. In our culture, there are these lies that in order to be a true man, we need to be super big and ripped. We see this all over: on sports, in commercials, in the locker room. This is a lie. Some men are naturally skinny or overweight, this has no bearing on their manhood. Sure, it is healthy to be in shape and to be able to do some heavy physical labor, but don’t be tempted to think any less of yourself if you don’t have big muscles. God judges us for what we do, not what we look like. In addition, remember that you can act like a man even when you are relatively young. Don’t let your elders convince you that just because you’re young, you’re destined to make mistakes and fail until you’re older. There are plenty of 10 year old boys who live much more manly lives than 40 year olds, by pursuing virtue and excellence in everything that they do.
  1. Pursuing virtue. Once I was privileged enough to attend a talk specifically on manliness at a Catholic conference (another shout-out to FOCUS!), and I was surprised to learn within the first few minutes that the essence of manliness is simply cultivating and living the virtues. Ultimately, this post could simply be about the 7 virtues, but I guess I wanted to flesh them out a little bit more for the sake of making them a bit more practical. The Catholic Gentleman has a wonderful post that highlights the importance of virtue that I would highly recommend, but the 7 virtues are prudence, temperance, justice, fortitude, faith, hope, and charity. The first 4 are called cardinal virtues that we can train ourselves in, and the final 3 are called theological virtues which are gifts from God. In your own life, your best bet is to pick out one of the cardinal virtues at a time, research them so that you can understand them, and then continuously work at attaining them. As for the theological virtues, your best bet is to take those into prayer each day, asking God for those gifts. He will provide.
  1. Treating women right. One of the easiest ways to distinguish a man from a boy is how he treats women. A man always treats women with respect, seeing them as a human being with their own life, needs, relationships, and feelings. Boys are sometimes tempted to use women, for their bodies, for a sense of emotional comfort, for power, etc. One of those general rules of thumb to apply here is to see every woman as your mother, sister, daughter, etc. This includes women that you see on screens and images. Would you treat one of them the way that you are treating this stranger? And beware, pornography may seem harmless at first, but it has a crippling effect on you and your relationships with the more beautiful sex. A huge way that we can honor women is by having chaste relationships with them. Save sex for marriage, and make sure to draw the line clearly with how physical you BOTH feel comfortable being with each other if you’re in a committed relationship. Save the “test drive” for cars, because women are so much better than that. It’s an insult to even compare them to cars. If you aren’t willing to lay down your life for them for the rest of your life, you have no right to a “test drive,” this is a go big or go home issue. On a lighter note, some things that I love to see men do for women is to open doors for them, let them eat first, paying for a date, listening attentively, and not talking down to them- especially with regards to subjects like sports and cars where the stereotype is that women don’t know anything about that. Oh yea, and if you’re Catholic, letting your wife / girlfriend / children go before you to receive Holy Communion. What a better way of sacrifice then letting them receive Jesus first?!
  1. True to our promises. A man is as good as his word, goes the common saying. “Let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation,” warns St. James in James 5:12. How often have you been affected by this in others? One of the most common issues where we see this in the 21st century is Facebook events. I’m guilty of putting “maybe” down for about 5 events in a row, only to never change to yes or no and never showing up. Doing that hurts my friends who went out of their way to invite me and don’t have any idea if I’m coming or not! And this can be applied to greater things, too.. How many times have we encountered people who are always promising to do things and never follow through? We stop taking that person seriously, don’t we? Perhaps the most important promises that affect each one of us are wedding vows. Each one of us has a mom and a dad. And most of our parents, at least at one point in time, were married. They promised to be love and serve each other, through good times and bad. They promised to be faithful to each other for their entire lives. They promised to marry each other for life. Yet, unfortunately, about half of marriages end in divorce. Dang. Talk about a broken promise. Think… they promised that they would love and serve each other in both good times and in bad. So as much as I feel for couples going through difficult marriages, divorce never really was an option according to their vows. Unfortunately these affects have wounded countless numbers of young people in my generation, who are now the likely generation in recent memory to ever get married. There is hurt everywhere because of broken promises. Long story short, a man keeps his word, even if it is very difficult. Even if just each of us as individuals try to get a little better on this, I think it would go a long way in changing the world.
  1. Taking the initiative to pursue a woman. For young men, assuming that you aren’t called to the priesthood or religious life, one of the most exhilarating times of our lives is attempting to win a woman’s heart. Notice how I used the words “pursue” and “win”, verbs that imply that you actually try. You don’t usually find the woman of your dreams by just sitting around waiting for her to walk through your door, but by going out and living life, and meeting her doing the same sort of things that you like to do. Don’t be afraid to take a chance and ask out a woman that you’re interested in! Rejection stings, but you’ll never have a shot if you don’t ask! Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of young women out there looking for relationships and potential husbands, but not many men going out and asking them. Instead, our culture has made hooking up seem like a normal thing to do. This is no way to treat a woman, to use her for her body with no thoughts for who she actually is as a person… to just try and get messed up enough that you don’t even know what you’re doing. That’s not being a man, that’s being an animal. A man goes out of his way to protect women and treat them with respect. The end goal of a relationship isn’t sex or physical pleasure. The end goal of a relationship is life-long friendship, love, and helping each other become closer to Christ. Kids are nice too, when we’re talking about marriage 😉
  1. Be sharpened by other men. Man was not created to be alone. We were actually created for community. I’ve already mentioned some cool things about relationships with women, but in general fraternal friendships are just as important! Jesus recognized this when He gave us the Church. It wasn’t just Peter alone who continued Jesus’ mission on bringing God’s Kingdom to earth in the Church, but the 12 Apostles, and the 72 Disciples, and countless others! Jesus founded the Church as a community, and it grew as a community. We are all the Body of Christ, and we are stronger together as a “body” as opposed to “a lone ear” or “a finger and two toes.” A pretty cool bible verse that highlights this is Proverbs 27:17, which says, “As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man.” Of course this applies to women too, but I love the imagery of iron here and I think it speaks very clearly to men. When I am alone, I am more vulnerable to temptations and not always the person that I ought to be. When I am surrounded by my good friends, they encourage me to be the best that I can be in all things. One simple way that I’ve noticed this is in prayer accountability. As a missionary, I challenged men to commit to praying daily, as I do, so that they could grow closer to Jesus. Beforehand, most of them had never had a very regular prayer life, but after I challenged them to start one and continued to check up on them, they started making impressive improvements and I could see their lives change as they grew closer to Christ through prayer. Accountability and encouragement is one of the best ways that we can help build each other up as men.
  1. Only satisfied by God. This world is great. God has given us so many people to become friends with and countless other joys. But as tempting as it can be to strictly chase the things of this world, we have to remember that in the end only God will satisfy us. We were made for God, and nothing less will give us peace. We will always be wanting more… until we are finally with God, and we will have never-ending peace and joy, ecstasy really! So with that in mind, make daily prayer a part of your schedule, and make sure to be faithful to Sunday Mass and regular confession. Our relationship with God starts right here on earth.
  1. God’s son. Did you know that God desires a personal relationship with you? Kind of like any other friend, except He’s Jesus and He created, unconditionally loves, and died for you! Now, if you’re anything like me, you get a bit turned off by that mushy “God loves us” stuff. The girls eat that up, but for us as guys, it doesn’t really work. I think we need to take a different approach. God gave us two basic ways of seeing Him: as our Father in God the Father, and as our brother in Jesus. Some of us aren’t blessed in having a father or brother in our lives that gives us a glimpse of the true love and care of God/Jesus. As a Father, God cares for us at all times. He watches out for us, is ready to give us advice, and gives us everything that we need to live joyfully as His sons. As a brother, Jesus modeled for us a firm commitment to putting God first in all that we do, a strong work ethic in our day to day labors, compassion and care for those around us who need mercy and help, and is a friend whose shoulder we can lean on whenever we need some support. God is much closer to us than we think and remembering that He is by our side at all times will help us through the good and the bad times ahead.

I hope and pray that these tips inspire and encourage you! God bless!

Note: A couple of months ago I published a post about being a Daughter of God, which inspired me to write this one as well for the guys!

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Being Faithful Isn’t Manly?

Football Praying

Whether on the college campus or not, in America I’ve noticed that the public doesn’t seem to think that having faith is manly. People seem to think that people who pray are a bunch of sissies who have problems controlling their feelings. A “real man” takes care of things himself and leaves nothing to chance, they claim.

Obviously I’d beg to differ. As a man myself, I have found that my faith has taught me how to grow as a man and be the best one that I can be.

First off, a man must be rational. This is the first task of any man, to wrestle with and find the truth so that they can live the best life possible. What sort of man lives his life according to some sort of fairy tale searching for the fountain of youth or Atlantis? A man ought to live for the truth, not some sort of fake reality- someone who lives in their own little world isn’t a man… the proper description would be insane. There is a God and an eternal reality for us all, and this can be known through philosophy and reason. After wrestling with this and coming to know the truth, the best way to live as a man is to keep that in mind at all times so that we can learn to be responsible protectors of creation and providers for those in need. And who is a better example of this than Jesus, who taught us that the things of God are worth so much more than the things of the world. Just take a look at the beatitudes in Matthew 5!

A man is responsible, he doesn’t just let his life slip away due to alcohol, drugs, pornography, or any other addictions. A man lives with clear convictions and holds to them even if that means that he might have to suffer for them. A man is accountable for his actions and strives to be the best son, father, coworker, citizen, teammate, etc. everyday. Who is a better example of this than Jesus, who followed God with all that He did so that He could teach humanity how we can live best.

A man is humble and a team player. Nobody wants to be on the same team as a ball-hog or work with a coworker who never communicates with the rest of the team. People who are angry and unreasonable ruin relationships and leave a trail of inefficiency behind them. They are a cancer to whatever group they are a part of. Through faith, we learn that we need to encourage others at all times and realize that our talents are merely gifts from God to be used for the benefit of all of humanity instead of being used for selfish gain. Jesus taught us this by never showing off His power any more than He needed to, but simply trusting in God that eventually the disciples would learn to be faithful and follow Him with their whole hearts, without forcing them to.

A man protects those entrusted to him, especially his family, friends, and nation. A man doesn’t just lie down and let evil happen to them, but sacrifices even to the point of death for those under his care. With a secular philosophy, there isn’t much reason to do this at all. In that case, it’s a dog eat dog world where the poor get poorer and those defenseless get taken advantage of without men who stick up for those in need. But we all know that a real man never wimps out of protecting others. Jesus is a fantastic example of this because He gave up His very life freely so that we all could be saved from eternal damnation. God didn’t just sit back and say, hey, I’ll let someone else do the work.. maybe John the Baptist or Elijah! No! God Himself came down as Jesus, walking the walk instead of just talking the talk.

A man provides for his family and those in need. What do you call the boss who lives extravagantly while his employees are barely making minimum wage? What do you call the father who fathers a child but leaves the mother to raise him or her all alone? What do you call the dad who finds time to drink with his friends every night while his children never get to see him? These are obviously selfish and horrible examples, but by living with faith, we can learn to put others first before ourselves instead of forgetting that essential way of life. Jesus gave us a great witness to that when He bent down to wash His disciples’ feet, showing them that the last will be first, and the first will be last.

A man honors his God. As a father, you expect your children to respect, obey, and have a relationship with you. If they don’t, it is very disrespectful. In a similar way, we need to apply this to our relationship with God. God is our Father. Do we respect Him in how we act and talk about Him? Do we speak with Him? Do we love Him? Just a like a good father, God loves us unconditionally and desires to have this relationship with us. Who is better to consul and comfort us than our loving Father?

What I really seem to have focused on is how having faith helps us to be the best men that we can be. It seems to me that without faith, there is no need for virtue. And without virtue, there is no manliness. Come to know Jesus and live for Him, and I promise you that He will constantly challenge you to become a greater man than you were before.

This is an awesome clip I wanted to throw in here with some of the Seattle Seahawks players- who will be playing for the Super Bowl next weekend- talking about their faith.

Too Wise to Get Married?

Many “wise” and “experienced” Americans love to advise young adults to never get married, since “it isn’t worth it.” I may not be as experienced, but I’d like to disagree.

Is this really the best message to be sending to the youth of the world? This message demoralizes young adults, making them think that they are not perfect enough to get married. It makes marriage seem hopeless and a waste of time. “Live for yourself first.” I don’t know about you, but when I live for myself, life is booooorrrriiiinnnggggg. It’s when I’m helping others out that I come alive.

I agree that you need to go into marriage with the right mindset, it is a big responsibility, but you can’t just throw out the baby with the bathwater. Complaining about how bad it is isn’t helping anyone have a better marriage.

A major issue with this line of thinking is that it signals that marriage is only about what is best for ourselves, and if not, we can take the easy way out. If my spouse doesn’t treat me right anymore I should just end it. If I’d rather be with some other woman, I should do that since it’s all about me, right? If my kids are too much work I don’t have to be responsible for them. That’s the line of thinking that has been encouraged, and it leads to bad consequences for spouses and children everywhere.

The ridiculous thing about that line of thinking is that that’s not even LOVE. Our culture likes to say that everything’s about love, right? Well if marriage is all about love, then it shouldn’t be about us. Love isn’t selfish, it’s selfless. Marriage should be about doing all that we can for our spouse and for our children. It’s about doing what is best for them even if it is an inconvenience for you.

Of course marriage is hard. We understand that, and I’m not arguing against that. Often it is not the big decisions but lots of little ones that breeds tension. But that doesn’t mean that marriage doesn’t work. We don’t drop out of school because we have to do homework until late at night every night. We don’t quit work just because it is hard. Living your faith is difficult, but we don’t give that up because of that. If you want to do ANYTHING good in life, it is going to be hard, but it’ll be worth it.

The mindset that marriage is all about us seems to be a reason for many of the problems in our society. Divorce, abortion, contraception, cheating, single parent homes, domestic abuse, and more are the result of me-first marriages.

Instead of complaining about how hard marriage is, we need to encourage each other that marriage and love is worth it. It is about selflessly helping your spouse and children, building a foundation for a great society. A society with strong families has a strong foundation.

Our society needs to learn how to love again. When we learn how to love, we will learn that marriage is worth it. Bashing marriage will not help to foster stronger families and a stronger society. I don’t know about  you, but I’m too wise to not love.

Saints Mary and Joseph, Examples of Femininity and Masculinity

Holy Family Nativity

Last week in bible study we joined up with a girls study for some bowling and a quick study on femininity and masculinity. My friend Rachel led the girls study and provided the reflection on our Blessed Mother, and I provided the reflection on St. Joseph.

Mary, Mother of God

  1. Who is Mary?

Mary is a guiding light for us. She is the only example that we have of a perfect and sinless woman. Mary demonstrates a beautiful character through her roles as both wife to Joseph and mother to Jesus. And through these roles, she portrays perfectly the vocation women are called to. But she is not simply an example to women – she is mother of all. Both men and women can look to her as an example of prayer, humility and selfless love.

The Character of Mary:

  1. Receptivity
  2. Capacity for the Other
  3. Resonance of Mind and Heart

Luke 1: 26-38 “In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, ‘Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.’ But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.’ But Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?’ And the angel said to her in reply, ‘The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.’ Mary said, ‘Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.’ Then the angel departed from her.

  1. How does Mary demonstrate receptivity in this passage?
  2. What does this reveal about Mary’s role as a wife or mother?

“The existence of Mary is an invitation to the Church to root her very being in listening and receiving the Word of God, because faith is not so much the search for God on the part of human being, as the recognition by men and women that God comes to us” – JPII

John 2 1-6: “On the third day there was a wedding in Cana, in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding. When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, ‘They have no wine.’ [And] Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother said to the servers, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’

  1. How does Mary demonstrate her “Capacity for the other”?
  2. What does this reveal about Mary’s role as mother?

Luke 2: 41-51 “Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, ‘Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.’ And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’ But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart.”

  1. How does Mary demonstrate her “Resonance of Mind and Heart”?
  2. What does this reveal about Mary’s role as wife and mother?

John 19: 26-27 “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.”

–          We have looked at how Mary has played a motherly role in the life of Jesus from the moment of his conception up to the point of his painful, yet, redeeming death. At this moment, Mary became mother of not just the beloved disciple, John, but to all of Jesus’ beloved disciples…us. At the foot of the cross, at a time when she is feeling so much pain and sorrow in her heart, she still gave a “yes” to the Lord and accepted us as her children.

–          Mary is a true model to all Christians because she is a model of being open to the will of God. She bore Jesus Christ in her womb and bore him into the world. Her mission has always been to bring Jesus Christ to the world and to bring the world to Jesus Christ. Let us go to her with all of our needs, our sorrows, and our joys. She will rejoice with us in our triumphs and will console us in our suffering. Mary is truly a gift from God to us, so let us entrust ourselves to her, knowing that she will bring us to her Son.

St. Joseph

St. Joseph is a fantastic model for what true manhood is especially in his virtue, faith, and charity. His family was the most unique family ever: his wife was the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God, and their son Jesus was God. Imagine that craziness. And though spiritually St. Joseph is the “least important,” he was still absolutely vital. Even though not a single word by St. Joseph is recorded in scripture, he still teaches men so much by his actions.

When he found out that Mary was pregnant while they were “engaged,” instead of shaming her, St. Joseph did not plan to make a scene of it but to quietly divorce her. Think of how tough that situation was! The penalty for cheating on a man in those days potentially could have been death, by stoning! And yet St. Joseph was going to spare her as much contempt as possible.

Next, St. Joseph had a strong enough faith to trust the angel that announced to him that Mary’s child was God’s child. Again, what a ridiculous situation that we completely take for granted. God’s child! And again, St. Joseph did not abandon Jesus and Mary but trusted God.

Also, St. Joseph honored our Blessed Mother and her special role in history by protecting her virginity even though they were married. We think that priests and sisters have a sacrifice to make in celibacy: how about a properly married couple being celibate? And Mary wasn’t bad looking.

He took his entire family and fled when the emperor was having all of the children killed for fear of Jesus, thanks to a warning from an angel. He has faith in the angel again, and doesn’t abandon Jesus and Mary but takes them to Egypt, a completely foreign country, in order to escape.

St. Joseph worked to provide for Jesus and Mary. Again, we can’t take this stuff for granted: his wife was sinless and his son was God, and he had to work a day job to support them?

At all times, St. Joseph honored God and put God’s plans before his own convenience, even when it was ridiculously hard. St. Joseph is a model of virtue and sacrifice for all men.

Signs of the Transition to Manhood

Lately I’ve been thinking more about what it is to be a man. We talked about it in bible study this week for much longer than I was expecting, and it was one of the better discussions I’ve had in a few weeks.

This got me thinking of some of the talks that I heard at SEEK Conference last month about manhood. Dr. Johnathan Reyes did such a great job of comparing the signs that differentiates a boy from a man, and I’d like to share them with you:

  • A boy is occupied by looking for fun. A man is occupied by his duties.
  • A boy worries about whether others like him. A man cares more about whether he is respected.
  • A boy is self-focused in all that he does. A man keeps his thoughts and gaze outwards, thinking of others first.
  • A boy chooses the most comfortable option. A man makes sure to choose to do the right thing.
  • A boy avoids responsibility. A man is responsible. In the business world, a man accepts the responsibility of owning a project.
  • A boy becomes discouraged and gives up. A man perseveres through trial.
  • A boy doesn’t change the environment that he is in. A man improves every environment that he enters.
  • A boy views women as objects, as a “collection of body parts.” A man sees women as the whole person and respects and honors them in what he says and does.
  • A boy needs rules to act uprightly. A man is self-disciplined.
  • A boy brags about his accomplishments. A man does not exalt himself.
  • A boy avoids commitment. A man’s word is good and he honors vows to death.
  • A boy is governed by his passions. A man is governed by the truth.

This is a challenging list. But I think that it is important that we challenge ourselves and hold ourselves to a high standard (see the self-disciplined part). Are you where you want to be? I know that it’s a struggle. It is much easier to work on your journey to manhood when you do it together with a good friend or two. Share your desire to grow to become a better man with one another. And don’t forget to pray! Ask God to help give you the grace to overcome sinful tendencies.

Make war on sin, and start living like a man. Turn this Tedashii song up!

Manhood and Mass

This week we started by talking about what it is to be a man. We had an excellent discussion, but unfortunately I can only put down my own notes.

What is it to be a man?

Being a man is more than just age and gender.

Some wise words by Michael K:

A man portrays humble confidence, often without words.

A man respects women and children, always taking the second place.

A man seeks to serve and make others a little more comfortable.

A man works on his faults daily so he can lead others better.

A man makes the hard choice that will benefit others in the long run.

A man is courageous and takes the lead when necessary.

A man loves others above himself.

A man is both a strong leader and a loving servant.

My thoughts:

Someone is a man if he is striving to live virtuously. The etymology of the word virtue means “manliness” or “courage.”

There are seven virtues. Virtues dispose men to act in a way which brings true happiness.

4 Moral Virtues:

Prudence- choosing the right method of conduct, choosing the right thing to do and the right way of going about it

Justice- respecting the rights of others, the rights of God, worshipping God, respecting our parents and superiors

Temperance- regulating pleasure with reason and avoiding addictions- like food, drink, sexual pleasure

Fortitude- moral strength and courage to meet difficulties and continue striving for the good

3 Theological Virtues:

Faith- where our will conforms itself with the divinely revealed truth, not based on intrinsic evidence but because the God who we know has revealed it

Hope- we trust in God and hope to attain eternal life, keep things in perspective

Charity- sometimes this is called love too. Charity helps our soul conform itself to God so that we are more united with Him. God is loved by His own intrinsic goodness and our neighbor is loved because of our love for God.

On top of that, I think that it is especially manly to be able to forgive, especially when it is hard, to give of yourself for others who could use your help, and to be in control of your actions and emotions by staying grounded in God instead of putting our hope in other people or things.

What are some ways that our culture portrays men? Is this fair? Generally we talked about how the expectations that our culture has put on men is way too low.

Mass:

(again, credit for most of this goes to Dr. Edward Sri and his book “A Biblical Walk Through The Mass”)

Lord, have mercy:

We say Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy three times to reflect the Triune God

What is mercy? Don’t we assume that mercy is necessary in a power relationship, like a king having mercy on his servants? This is different than the mercy of the hurting mercy game. Pope John Paul II compares the mercy of God to that of the father in the story of the Prodigal Son. Let’s read that, Luke 15:11-32. What do you notice about the father’s mercy in this story? The father doesn’t just pardon his son of his offenses but rejoices and embraces his son because he can see the son’s change of heart. It’s about God’s love for us and desire for us to be with him, not a power trip.

God always looks with mercy on a repentant heart.

Many people came up to Jesus saying “Lord have mercy” so that they could be healed. We can have the same intentions.

Often we say the Lord have mercy in Greek, Kyrie Eleison. Notice how originally three different languages were used in the liturgy: Latin, Hebrew “Amen” and “Alleluia”, and Greek. St. Albert the Great, in the 1200s, noted: “the faith came to us Latins from the Greeks; Peter and Paul came to the Latins from the Greeks and from them came salvation for us. And so that we may be mindful that this grace came to us from the Greeks, we preserve even now the very words and syllables with which the divine mercy was first invoked by the people.” It’s pretty powerful to me to think how we are completely indebted to our forefathers in the faith in how we came to know the Lord and celebrate the liturgy.

The Gloria:

This is the song:

Glory to God in the highest. And on earth peace to men of good will. We praise You. We bless You. We adore you. We glorify You. We give You thanks for Your great glory. O Lord God, heavenly King, God the Father almighty. O Lord Jesus Christ, the Only-begotten Son. O Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father: you Who take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us. You Who take away the sins of the world, receive our prayer. You Who sit at the right hand of the Father, have mercy on us. For you alone are holy. You alone are the Lord. You alone, O Jesus Christ, are most high. Together with the Holy Spirit in theglory of God the Father. Amen.

The opening line is the words that the angels sung announcing the birth of Christ in Luke 2:14. In a similar way, the Mass makes present Christmas, Christ is with us.

The Gloria is full of scripture. The entire thing comes from scripture, really. I’d go through it all but there are so many different points to make. A few highlights: it praises the Father, tells the story of Jesus, and then glorifies Jesus “You are seated at the right hand of the Father.”

Gloria is like a joyful response to the Lord have mercy!

A historical note is that at the part where we say “You alone are the Lord.” The word that means Lord was also used to describe Caesar. So in the Gloria we are saying that Jesus is Lord, not Caesar. Many Christians died for this fact.

After the Gloria, the priest prays the “collect” or opening prayer.

Next we move into the first major part of the mass: the Liturgy of the Word.

Boys to Men

I talk a lot about people in general and the universal call to holiness, but it is very important that us guys become the men that our society needs.

George Bailey

We need men because:

  • Men stand up for what’s right, even if nobody else is– As a society, we are better than “do whatever makes you happy.” No, there is purpose in life, and as men we need to make sure to do the most virtuous thing in all situations, even if it means doing what’s harder. Other guys might be watching porn or eyeing up girls, but we are better than that (and women certainly deserve better!!!). Don’t do it, AND have the courage to let them know what you think.
  • Men are not afraid of leadership– Where are the Abraham Lincolns and Martin Luther King Jrs today? We need leaders who have the backbone to stand up for what they believe in, whether it is popular or not. The truth does not depend based on a popular vote. And lead spiritually as well, especially if you are a father. From a study I remember seeing, kids whose father takes them to church are 4 times more likely to continue going to church than those who only go with their mom. Lead your family in prayer, teach them the faith. You don’t have to know everything, just share what you do know and make an honest effort to learn more.
  • Men work hard– whether at work or at school, too many guys take the easy way out by being lazy and just getting by. We see it every day. Life matters, we should work hard because what we do can help others. Also, we can glorify God through our work by offering it up, as  St. Josemaria Escriva showed us. Being a lazy father is right up there, too. Help your wife. Spend lots of time with your kids. Sitting around, drinking beer and watching sports isn’t as manly as lazy guys would like you to think. Ask their wives how manly they think that is..
  • Men protect women’s hearts– It kills me (The Catcher in the Rye anyone?) when guys are flirty with no intentions of committing to a relationship. Do you have any idea how much more girls think about that stuff? Being a flirt is for boys, for 6th grade. If you want to be a man, you’re going to have to commit to a girl. Ask her out. None of that hooking up stuff- that just leads to regret anyways. It means making a sacrifice, it means loving someone. Take her out on dates. It’s real people that we’re talking about here, real hearts and real feelings, so stop treating it like some sort of video game. Treat her right, and it’ll be so worth it.
  • Men stand up for those who can’t defend themselves– Do you ever catch yourself thinking “oh dang, I wish someone would help them..”? If so, you’re in the perfect opportunity to help that person. We have the ability to help people, let’s take use it. This means putting yourself second to others. Care for the sick, stand up for the rights of all people, whether they look like you or not, born and unborn, sick and poor.
  • Men support each other– Use positive encouragement instead of ragging on every guy who is “so much worse than you”. Support the other men in your life by helping and encouraging them when they are down.

I have a strong conviction that the devil wants to rid the world of upright men. Without good fathers, society will crumble. (The same thing goes for women, of course, and the family in general. See the pattern: he’s taking them all down!)

I’d love to see men that hold each other accountable, so that we can all strive for virtue together. Stop settling for mediocrity, and start striving for excellence.

Some of my favorite male role models:

St. Joseph- The “quiet” foster father of our Lord. We can learn from him to trust God and our wives and put our family before ourselves in all things, even if it means escaping through a desert to a different country to save them.

St. Maxmillian Kolbe- The “selfless” man. This priest was in a nazi concentration camp when another man with a family was going to be killed. St. Maximillian offered to take the man’s place and died by starvation. We can learn from him how we must always put others before ourselves, even complete strangers.

St. Peter- The first pope that always messed up. St. Peter was bold and brash, and often made foolish decisions, like denying Jesus THREE times. But despite his mistakes, he had a strong faith and always strove to do what was right. He died a martyr for the faith by being crucified upside down in Rome. We can learn from St. Peter that we all mess up, but we must cling to our faith in Jesus first and foremost before everything else.